Let me start by saying that I am a rule follower. With the exception of sometimes viewing the speed limit as a “suggestion,” and one time as a freshman in college when...well, anyway, I have always followed the rules. One year at church camp, the counselors brought all the girls over to the boys’ camp and I cried for the entire Kum ba yah because it was against the rules to visit boys at night. But something happened to me during childbirth: I became a rule breaker. I let my children watch too much television, I don’t force them to eat vegetables and I let them sleep with me.

Both of my children slept on my chest for the first 4 months of their life. I’m not exactly proud of this, mostly because of the other measures I have taken to hide my secret. I have lied to the pediatrician (“yes, I put her down drowsy but awake, no I never nurse her to sleep.”) and my 6’4” husband has slowly made his way to the couch (or at the very least, he sleeps sideways at the end of the bed.) Emma Claire has never slept a night in her crib and Coulter usually joins us around 1 or 2 a.m. When Coulter was a baby, and we were trying to use the crib, I would get so desperate that I would actually sleep in the crib with him (not something I recommend for mommies over 35 as it takes about 20 minutes to stretch out from the fetal position in the morning.).So last week, when one of my Kindermusik moms, sent me a message on Facebook asking for advice on transitioning her daughter Gracie to a big-girl bed, I had to laugh out loud. Really? Me? Our crib is a beautiful piece of furniture but we haven’t even washed the sheets since Emma Claire was born 16 months ago. It’s simply a home for all of our stuffed animals and long forgotten baby blankets.

I couldn’t help her, so I referred her to Kindermusik. Kindermusik is for partners and children: “all involved, all the time.” Every class is full of teachers, doctors, stay at home moms and dads, lawyers, nurses, therapists, early childhood specialists, and the list goes on. If you have a parenting concern, chances are you can pick the brain of your Kindermusik community. Once, there was a little boy whose eye disorder was diagnosed by another mom in class. The family’s pediatrician had missed it, but sure enough he needed surgery. I’ve seen parents get help with allergies and eczema; potty training and discipline. I’ve seen a mom go from thinking her 2 year old son’s constant tiptoe walking and endless arm flapping was cute, to recognizing that it’s an early warning sign of autism. Kindermusik at Bright Beginnings is more than music and movement (although that’s enough!) It’s a community of resources and it’s a place to learn, without a doubt, that we are not alone in our struggles and uncertainties as parents.

I had 5 years of on-the-job training before I ever became a mother. And there is no doubt that I am a better mom because of the community of Kindermusik families around me. I’m grateful everyday that I’m not doing this “parenting thing” alone.

And so, surrounded by all these resources, you may be wondering why I was never able to get sleep advice for my children. I assure you, I’ve received plenty. One mom, a therapist, told me I needed to let them cry it out so I could “reclaim the marital bed.” What?!? I don’t even know what that is! Another mom suggested that I take an Ambien, put in some earplugs and call it a night. I haven’t seen the therapist mom for a while, but the other mom is still in Kindermusik. She is expecting her third child in February and I have a feeling she’s going to need a lot more Ambien.