A lesson in gratitude

Recently, my fellow Kindermusik teachers and I got together for a little “post-Christmas” Christmas party. Well, not so much a party as perhaps a get together with friends and colleagues. The hostess did serve wine, though, so maybe it was a party. Actually, I don’t drink wine but come to think of it, I did have 2 diet cokes and drinking that much caffeine after 6:30 means it must have been a party. Anyway, it was a fun evening because we rarely have the opportunity to be all together. We are a group of 6 highly educated, extraordinarily talented woman (or at least that’s my humble opinion of the other five) with a 20 year age span between us. And, yes, it was definitely a party because in addition to wine and diet coke, there were presents.

Now, I will start by saying that I am usually a very grateful person. I love gifts. As a teacher, I am blessed with gifts of all kinds and I appreciate the thought, the effort and the generosity behind each one. Last week one of my KM families gave me a pair of slippers because our room is so cold. I was very grateful. However, on this night (and I can’t believe I’m admitting this,) I was confused, (maybe even disappointed?) by the gift we received. Part of the problem, (and again I can’t believe I’m admitting this,) is that I was sort of expecting a small bonus in the form of a gift card, but instead, the gift was a book. Now, ordinarily, I would enjoy a good book, but this wasn’t just any book –at first glance, it appeared to be a marriage counseling, how to love your spouse (put your children in their crib and reclaim your marital bed) kind of book. (See former blog on co-sleeping.) Add to this the fact that another friend had just the week before suggested I read “The Love Dare” which then becomes a verb….you “love dare” your spouse and, well, I just felt overwhelmed. Fireproof your marriage, fill up their cup, love dare your spouse, learn how to speak his or her love language. I started to get hot and panicky just thinking about it. I did manage a gracious “thank you” before I got in my car and immediately burst into tears. I know. It’s crazy. I mean who cries over a book? I think I experienced some kind of self-help mental break—I mean, well, it was either that or the fact that I was seriously upset about the gift card. :)

Later that night I found myself unable to sleep, (which either had something to do with feeling guilty over my lack of gratitude or the aforementioned diet cokes) so I began to read my new book; “The Five Love Languages,” by Dr. Gary Chapman. In it, he suggests that each of us have a primary love language and we need to be spoken to in that language in order to feel loved. The 5 languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. I read and read and read, and as I read it became clear just what a great gift this really was. A lot of what he says makes you say, “Well, duh! Why didn’t I think of that?”And yet the point is, I didn’t think of it. Not, at least, until now.

At the end of the book he introduces a chapter from “The Five Love Languages of Children.” I was so excited. What better gift can I give my children than to speak to them in their own love language and what better gift can I give to my Kindermusik families than to encourage them to do the same. I’d like to invite you to come and read with us.Regardless of what your family make-up is, chances are you are important in the life of a child.

The art of gift giving is anticipating what might possibly be a blessing to the recipient. The gift giver on this night has been my friend and mentor for almost 10 years. She knows me quite well (and in this instance better than I knew myself) and for that, truly, I am grateful.