Siblings: To Bring Or Not To Bring

This past week I experienced a teaching "first." Not exactly life-changing but interesting to me was the fact that as I looked around my class, I had more siblings than actual registered children. On one hand, I was grateful for the boost because we would have otherwise had a private KM class on our hands and certainly having the other children that day enhanced the social and emotional impact of the morning. I'm fairly confident that one of the Mothers was somewhat less grateful as she had to spend most of the morning disciplining her children which left little time to actually enjoy the experience. I, too, was a little less grateful when I saw a wood block being thrown across the room. I've seen flying balls, flying eggs and even flying sticks but this was my first flying woodblock. I guess that means I had two "firsts" this week!

Parents often ask me how I feel about siblings coming to class and I always answer with, "Bring them!" As a mom of two I know that it's difficult to juggle schedules and almost impossible to find a time when you are alone with only one child (unless of course you currently are the mom of one!) At any rate, I never want schedules or babysitting costs to keep a child from experiencing the joy of Kindermusik so my philosphy is to welcome them. Over the course of many, many classes I've welcomed babies sleeping in car seats, playing on blankets or nursing in the corner. I've had toddlers and pre-schoolers color, play games, watch movies or sit with their caregiver. I've had school-age children who adopt the role of partner and fully engage in the family experience of Kindermusik. I've also had, as previously mentioned, flying woodblocks, children who run over the little ones, children (actually it was Coulter) who though it was o.k. to turn cartwheels in a room full of babies and I've had caregivers who are so weary from disciplining that they don't in anyway enjoy or benefit from the class.

When Emma Claire was a baby, I wanted desparately to have that one-on-one experience that I treasured with Coulter. The only village class that I could take her to, however, were Mondays and Mondays were the only day I had with Coulter; the only day without a babysitter. So, not wanting to leave him with a sitter, I brought him to class and I spent all of my time asking him to "be quiet and sit still." Do you know how ridiculous that is? Telling a 3 year old in a room full of balls and scarves and instruments; a room full of dancing moms and babies; a room where your own Mother is oogling and googling over your new and somewhat unwelcome baby sister is not only expecting too much, it is for sure, setting you all up for failure. Coulter is a mover; a dancer; a singer. Similiary, I was never able to bring Coutler with me when I was teaching, but Emma Claire comes all the time. She is at a stage and age where being close to Mom is all she really needs.

(Side note: I've obviously also had siblings in class that were close enough in age to register for the same class. I've had twins and even triplets. My suggestions are intended for consideration of bringing non-registered siblings.)

So, because it's a somewhat complicated and child by child issue, here are 5 things to consider when deciding about siblings:

1. What is the age of the sibling?
2. What is the temparament of the sibling?
3. What is your own temperament when it comes to multi-tasking and having your attention divided.
4. What is your teacher's philosophy on siblings?
5. How big and/or how active is your child compared to the age and activity level of the class? (Think Coulter and his cartwheeling over babies!)

One more thing to consider is that if you would prefer to have all of your children participate and you don't have time for individual classes, you would most certiainly enjoy a family time class or what we call a multi-age class. Teachers of these classes are experienced and equipped with lessons that will engage and stimulate all ages.

But if you prefer, as I do, to have that one-on-one time with your child, please know that in Ms. Myra's class, siblings are always welcome (so long as we keep wood block throwing to a minimum!) The truth is, I'm grateful for the opportunity to have any or all of you!